Back and better than ever.

Wow, it's been awhile. I hope someone somewhere sees this. I just saw this comic and was inspired.

It's absolutely right, in its way -- one never needs to worry about embarrassment because really, you start out about as embarrassing as it can get and you're going to end up that way too (without the "pulled out a vag" bit," unless you've died very very happy), with someone probably responsible for helping you poo, so why in the hell am i going to worry about anything in the middle?

New outlook on life: Here i come.

Sweet!

I write this from my newly minted shiny dell desktop with a 20" widescreen LCD and more power than i expect to actually need to at least 6 months.

It's pretty, DVD's (in this inaugural case it's Kitchen Confidential from Netflix - a criminally short-lived sitcom from a couple years ago starring Bradley Cooper (Jen Garner's doomed boyfriend from Alias), a grown-up John Daly (star of Freaks and Geeks), Nicholas Brendon (in the only thing I've seen him in post-Buffy), and some lovely ladies who's only other credit of note appears to be OC season 1. I've never seen them in anything else, but that's the only thing listed on Netflix that I suspect anyone else might have seen.) look almost hi-def, and stuff opens almost as fast as i can click. So far only web-surfing, but I'll have to start checking out games that can make proper use of the processor/ram/video card tasty goodness.

Out.

On nostalgia...

Wow... two posts in two days... although after 100 days straight with 3, i doubt anyone's still reading.

Anyway, this is a quickie. I just wanted to put it out there that, while I didn't make many friends in high school or college, the ones i did meet - and i could use both hands to count the total for each - i consider friends for life.

The sad bit is that i don't really talk to many of them. Mostly my fault - they don't call me either, but i can't blame them because I'm not picking up the phone myself. Regardless, I'm always excited to have plans to see someone. Such is this weekend. Unfortunately, of the "less than 20" people referenced in Paragraph #2 above, this weekend is not one of the girls. So the search for my lady-life-partner continues.

Ehh... there's always Joy "crab-man/Jaime Pressley" Hickey to keep me warm on those long cold nights. Or someone who isn't blonde. Not that i'm opposed to blondes, i just find that I enjoy the contrast of white skin and non-white hair in a visual, aesthetic way. And suddenly i'm painting myself some sort of racist preference here, and that is totally not me, although i think white-liberal guilt is the only reason i even notice it. i'm going to stop now, since i know my white liberal guilt has already gotten me into trouble. Earlier today, i started to expound on the horrors of Darfur. I'm still ashamed by the number of people who don't understand what you mean when you simply say "just look at darfur." It is an embarrassment, and i feel compelled to fight it on a personal level.

out.

grrrr

20-some days... I actually started a post earlier this week, but then my internet died and i ended up losing it(my fault - not google's), and here we are.

Very big accomplishments (for me) here lately - a kid who lives near my parents managed to smash one of my tail-lights riding his bike. It all worked out, though - the kids' parents were the ones who told me it was broken, and they paid for the replacement, and then I took the little adventure of actually replacing the part. In retrospect, it was about as easy as you could hope replacing a tail light would be, but i'm still extra-proud of myself because I've never done anything even slightly mechanical on my car before.

(I would have said "uber-excited" in that last paragraph but don't know how to make the two little dots over the U. any help?)

I also had some help from the best-neighbor-ever with my car stereo, and now i have an AUX 3.5mm input and can listen to the ZUNE in my car! I'm finally listening to some of the stuff that I zuned but never got around to. Modest Mouse, Galactica, Panic! At the Disco, gnarls barkely, fat boy slim, fall out boy, bare naked ladies' "Sing Everywhere for Everyone" album series.

I would like to propose a marketing strategy to Microsoft free of charge. Now i know, aftermarket stuff is a way to increase revenue on the Zune. However, microsoft needs something big to kick start this puppy. I would propose that i'm not alone in that most of the music i listen to is in the car. The parts for my little zune install project cost me $50 - there was a $30 proprietary plug for my pioneer, and an overpriced $20 best buy RCA-3.5mm cable. I bet Microsoft could get those much cheaper. Why not include them with the Zune? Not actually in it, because not everyone has a pioneer stereo, but a certificate you can take back to car stereo and cash in, and maybe a discount on installation there in store if, like me, you previously had no idea how to get the stereo out of your car.

Returns and Sublimeness

(Side note: I actually had to check for the form of "sublime" that i wanted to use. Subliminal wasn't right and sublimation just sounded wrong. Thanks to dictionary.com for help.)

I think i'll need to break this into a couple posts to get it all out, because it's been a busy couple of weeks. My mom returned from China with only a small hitch that left them in Chicago overnight. Baby Wren is doing very well, with lots of pictures for all to ooh and ahh over. Of course, now she has some kind of Chinese bronchitis that's kept her in bed for three days and counting. Fortunately, the doc didn't think it was anything too fancy, and she's starting to do better.

Martha was thrilled to see her, and i'll have to get some pics up of just how big and happy that puppy has gotten. She has to be over 55 pounds by now, which is frightening since she's only 4 1/2 months old.

My mom's return also led to my return to Lemoyne. How i missed it. It was good to be back in my own bed, with my own little 10 pound cat who can go pee whenever she wants without disturbing me.

Went bowling Friday night with the gang from work, and apparently we had enough of a blast to make it a regular thing. We've also learned that bowling shoes can be had for under $50, and custom-drilled balls are about the same, so i might become a real bowling geek - complete with luggage and everything.

The real excitement, though, was Saturday night. I took the roommate's sister back to school in DC, and she was kindly enough to accompany me to a Flogging Molly concert in the parking lot of RFK stadium. That was a sublime experience. I've been listening to, and thoroughly enjoying, their CD's for maybe 6 months now, and have come to realize that the only reason to listen to the CD's is so you can sing along at the shows. The energy, the skill, 50,000 people screaming for the accordion. I've never had an experience like that before. Normally, for me, concerts have always been a let down, and i'm disappointed when they don't sound like the album. Maybe because they suck, maybe because the album was overproduced, i don't know. But this... this was something else entirely. For this group, the album exists only for people to learn the words and decide they like it. Then, you go to a show and realize, that's what this is all about. Of course, the beer didn't hurt either.

Next time, another fabled and long awaited movie roundup. Look for such hits as School for Scoundrels, Black Snake Moan , Arlington Road, Embrace of the Vampire, Charmed - Season 5, Cecil B Demented, the Prestige, Secret Things, Flushed Away, and Stranger than Fiction. Some of those may be repeats, but never fear - i'll check first.

On Slippage

And so the slippage begins... 3 weeks since I last wrote. I knew this would happen sooner or later, and must fight to not let it continue because I thoroughly enjoy writing my little inanities here.

First, a link to the Washington Post column I referred to last time. It does an excellent job of explaining exactly why "articulate" can be such an offensive compliment.

Up next, lighter fare. As i type this, my mom, brother, sister-in-law, and two nephews are somewhere in the middle of China, moving ever-onward towards their newest family addition, Wren. They've been trying to adopt Wren for about 2 years now, which is strange because she's less than a year old. They flew to Beijing last week, and come home in two weeks. In the meantime, I'm staying at my parent's house helping my dad take care of the puppy. It still boggles me that she is, now, 16 weeks old, is up to at least 45 lbs, and has at least 60 lbs left to grow. Martha is huge, and sweet as the teddy bear she resembles. At least, as long as she isn't piddling behind the sofa while staring at you with big innocent eyes that do nothing more than blame you for not taking her out sooner.

Don't worry, i'll have pictures soon. Probably not of the piddling, though.

greetings and salutations to 2007

I think i rang in the new year in reasonably celebratory fashion, but can't say for sure. i woke up in a bed i didn't remember getting into, and i still don't know what's in my ear.

a very succesful start to the year all around. My parents just adopted Martha. She is a newfoundland, currently about 9 weeks old and weighing in at around 20 pounds. she's solid black, except for white patches in between the pads of her feet. We like her quite a bit, and look forward to many happy years with a dog that will eventually be as big as me.

i've also, in amongst my recovery from sunday night, managed to soldier through the entire ninth season of the Simpsons. There's lots of debate about when the show really started downhill - after the seventh or eighth season. I won't say the ninth season is as classic as the eighth, but it's still pretty damned good. better than most of the crap on tv today, anyway. and there i go, sounding all old again... 'back in my day...' and 'everything today sucks' yada yada... and come on.. anything that gives us ralph crying out "tastes... like... burning..." can't be all bad, right?

so... a belated welcome and goodbye to compuglobalhypermeganet, and welcome to our new 2007-model benevolent robot overlords. i, for one, welcome you in this new era of peace.

oh, and in case anyone's interested... a link for my own interest. for all the atrocities he may have been responsible for, he went with his head held high, and i gotta have some respect for that.

On undeserved guilt and another weekend roundup

I feel an unnecessary amount of guilt for not writing in over a week. It's not that i've been too busy, i've just been doing other things. I picked up Final Fantasy X about 2 years ago on special, and had never played it until thanksgiving day two weeks back. I'm hooked.

This weekend marks the first time in my life i've actually gone to york. Sure, i've driven through on the rare occasions i'm taking 83 south further than the lemoyne exit, but i've never actually stopped there. Went to see a band at a biker bar. they were definitely worth the trip down, although i had a small disagreement with josh over the opening act. Granted, i don't have a strong technical knowledge of music, and go straight to the "i know what i like" school of criticism. I liked the opening band i saw, Advent Child, but josh was insistent that the drummer sucked. i dunno... like i said, i can't really speak to that - he didn't make an ass of himself while i was there, and i liked it.

Also, i'm adding another show to my studio 60 list. you must watch boston legal. Denny Crane.

didn't make it to the theater this weekend, but I did see woody allen's latest flim this morning. Scoop stars scarlett johansen (mmm) as an aspiring journalist visited by the ghost of a dead journalist with the story of the century for her. the best part, for me, is that it was set in london, so all sorts of warm fuzzies there. i just didn't care for scarlett breaking into an impression of woody's neurotic jew character. i think i can only take one woody allen in a movie at a time, and the original still does it best.

The younger nephew is coming to visit nana and grandpapa (aka my parents) this weekend, and that's always a treat. the little guy just loves macaroni grill, so guess where i get to have dinner with them. it's all very exciting, as long as we get the cute waitress who knows what she's doing.

On choices that don't really matter, and those who have passed on.

I like to keep my posts short (The Trip posts not-withstanding), and limited to a single topic. But then I run into times like right now, when I have a good six things I want to write about. I'm going to stick with the one that's most prominent in my mind, because I think it's the most important.

I attended Dr. Rabin's funeral this morning. It was a moving tribute, and in the spirit of the man himself was a short and bitter-sweet graveside service. He was a wonderful man, and it didn't start to sink in that he was really gone until they started lowering the casket into the ground. His younger son, Scott, and his brother gave amazing eulogies. I have nothing but respect for them, because if I had been in either of their positions I couldn't have gotten out more than maybe a dozen words before I just collapsed.

This is the third funeral service I've attended in my life, the first two being for my grandmothers, and I'm sad to say that Dr. Rabin was the closest to me of the three. Please, I mean absolutely nothing negative about my grandmothers - they were both amazing women whom I dearly miss, but they lived in Georgia and I grew up in central PA. I knew them as distant relatives and, while I'm sad for not getting to know them as well as some of my friends know their grandparents, I think they live on in their children - my parents - and so I feel I know them, and their actual passing is sort of a distant concept to me.

Dr. Rabin, on the other hand, is much closer to home. One of my earliest clear and vivid memories was going over to his house, and playing with the new mouse he had just gotten for his computer. I must have been six or sever, and I remember telling my dad how much better my art would be if we had a mouse, and he just kind of laughed, because at the time computer mice were rare and pricey propositions. I also found out today that Dr. Rabin was my dad's oldest friend. At the service today, I learned that when my brother Zach was born, not quite 37 years ago, Dr. Rabin was the first visitor my parents had to greet their new son. I was never close to his two his two sons, but i've always considered scott and daniel among my oldest friends. He was always there for me, to provide guidance, support, and firm direction. I didn't always appreciate it, but I always respected him. I will miss him a lot.

Even prior to his passing, I have been thinking about him a lot. My dad was in the hospital this past spring, and for a brief time I will admit to thinking he wouldn't make it. But the odd thing was, when I pictured my dad's funeral, Dr. Rabin was the stoic presense that such events need. I knew I would be a sobbing mess, barely holding some semblence of it together for my mom, but I always pictured Sandy (Dr. Rabin's wife) there actually taking care of my mom while Dr. Rabin made sure I was ok. Of course, I also have very strong opinions on gender roles (although i'm not sure how, considering I was raised unitarian). I've only cried once in the past 15 years. I didn't cry for either of my grandmothers (btw, both of my grandfathers died before I was born). I just cried for my cat, Tommy. I might've cried for Oedie, too, but that doesn't stand out as much as the unrelenting sobs when we put Tommy to sleep. I get choked up a lot. If i could tear down the walls people tell me i've put up, i'd cry like a hysterical hormonal woman about twice a week. I almost cried during the finale to grey's anatomy last year - first when they put the dog to sleep (it was right after tommy died) and then when danny died. but there were no actual tears - just choking up. it's not some macho-manly "boys don't cry" thing. Well, i take that back - it is a deeply ingrained macho-many "boys don't cry" thing. Like i said, i was raised unitarian, and take that liberalism very seriously. but i also have society-produced ideas of gender roles. which leads to wierd moments like this morning... i was fine up until they started lowering the casket. then i felt tears coming. i was surrounded by sobbing people (a whole other level of wierdness to me - people i've met repeatedly before in the context of happy parties were there today just sobbing uncontrollably or, with some of the men, clearly looking like me - wanting to sob uncontrollably but feeling a need to comfort their women) and i felt the tears coming, and some subconscious bit of my brain said "no! you can do the ritual, you can deal with it, but you won't cry!" and even now, typing this, i feel the tears dryly seeping out through my fingers.
maybe this is where art comes from - bizarre and inexpicable confines unknowingly placed on us by society that force themselves out in different ways.

I don't know, but in Dr. Rabin's memory I will continue my life trying to be as contrary as possible - not to be a jackass, but to make sure they're thinking. Because not thinking would be the greatest sin of all.

On the passing of friends

Some sad news today. One of my parents closest friends and a good friend of mine, Jack Rabin, passed away this morning.

I dislike maudlinness, so I'll keep this short.

He was a great man, and he will be missed.

early on a saturday

if i ever leave this world alive
the madness that you feel will soon subside

so in a word, don't shed a tear
i'll be here when it all gets weird
if i ever leave this world alive.

so when in doubt just call my name
just before you go insane
(credit to Flogging Molly)

more AC

I will be the first to admit, I think I'm developing a blogging problem. I have never known myself to go on and on about stuff the way I am, but once I get started I'm having a hard time stopping. Case in point, friday night I spent about 16 hours on the road and in atlantic city. Several firsts for me - first time I actually went to jersey, and didn't just pass through as quickly as possible, first time in Atlantic City, first time in a casino, first time seeing a burlesque show. Then again, I didn't know they actually did burlesque shows anymore, but what the heck.

Anyway, new topic slightly related to that is my damn cell phone. The camera is crap. I took like 20 pics friday night, all the pretty ladies (after the show, when they were dressed and posing for pics), and after I got home and sobered up I realized I had the camera set to "tiny" and so the pictures are all the size of a shot glass and, because the camera just sucks, too grainy to see anything.

Case in point:



There's the giant named Bill with the japanese trio (think the 5, 6, 7, 8's from Kill Bill, Vol. 1 meets Yoko Ono. They were great. And short. And there was bill, with a pair of underoo-looking briefs they had all signed, and my picture sucks. There are more crappy pictures in my Picasa album if anyone cares. But never fear - I have fixed the camera, and next time it is called upon the pictures will be big enough to see.

And now I'm going to watch some tv.

quick weekend roundup

wow... i find myself wanting to write all the time, even though I don't have anything to really say. Just wanted to put down that I had a great weekend.. atlantic city was almost everything I could've hoped for, although slot machines are really depressing. slept off all saturday, and went to the ren faire with my parents and nephews on sunday. great time there, I think next year i'm going to make it there with friends my own age to drink and ogle the girls in corsettes. :)

and after all that, managed to squeeze in two movies - american dreamz (which I didn't like as much as I expected, but still enjoyed) and click (which I enjoyed a lot more than I expected). That might've just been because they played U2's Ultraviolet for the big finish and that is one of my all-time favorite songs, and i think i'm going to play it now while i doze off to sleep ahead of another grueling week.